Don't give up yet. Get up. Keep Going.

Life. It's stressful and complicated with a new promotion, large projects, trying to graduate, a new calling in church, new responsibilities, health challenges, dating, and any other things that daily come my way. I've fallen, dropped a pot of food down the sink accidentally, and failed to save an animation clip that took 35 minutes to render. I've almost lost hope occasionally, but I've never stopped moving. I would love for someone every now and then, or even just one friend, to tell me to not give up, to keep going because brighter days are ahead. I don't have many people that tell me that. I tell that to other people. I have some pride that keeps me going but other than that I don't have much interior motivation. So why do I keep going? I should just give up, shouldn't I? My answer to that is NO. There's no hope in myself or in other human beings, but there is hope. I have hope in my Savior, Jesus Christ, for better and brighter days ahead. When I want to give up then I hear a small whisper speaking to me saying, "Don't give up yet. Get up. Keep going." When I'm feeling ill, weak, and tired, often with some pain involved either physically or emotionally, and I would like to remain stationary, then I think, 'Come on. You're strong. You can do it.' That's what keeps me going. Life is not a detached boxcar, meant to be stationary and alone. It is not a full train simply creeping along the track. It is to be lived like a train engine, with full speed so as to make it up any hill ahead. When life gets too complicated and hope seems to fade, put your hope in a new source, one that is stronger and more firm. You can keep moving on the track of life, but the more fuel you have the easier life gets. That fuel is Christ. I was reminded of something I'd always say: "When someone beats you down, don't give up. Prove them wrong and beat them up." However, I don't condone violence so that saying is obsolete. Now I change it: "When life gets you down, don't give in. Prove your doubts wrong and lift up your chin."

Blessings in the Lord

Within the last month particularly it seems that blessings have been continuously poured out upon me and my prayers have been answered. Although I've been extremely busy with trying to finish the semester at school, including polishing a senior project and thesis, and moving, receiving a job promotion, and several other events that have made life stressful, I decided from the start of last year that I would do my best to put God first. I decided to attend the temple toward the beginning of each week because I knew that if I put forth the effort the Lord would help me complete everything I needed to do, and He has. However, I never originally realized that by putting Him first that I'd also become closer to Him, uprooting my desire to do any form of evil and increasing my faith in Him. One of the greatest lessons I've learned recently is a witness to the phrase that as we put God and His kingdom first everything will either fall into place or fall out of our lives. With the witness of this principle I've received a greater peace and happiness in my life. I used to worry constantly about past, present, and future, but now I take what I need to learn from the past, live in the present, and look with joy and faith to the future. My confidence has increased, my attitude is more positive, and my understanding has been quickened. In regard to my prayers being answered, even the smallest desires of my heart have been granted such as an extra measure of protection, that I'd be able to see a friend I haven't seen for a while, or that I'd finally receive a calling. I testify that as we put God first, as we do our best to know our Heavenly Father and emulate the Savior's example, and prepare and go to the temple of the Lord, we will have blessings poured out upon us without measure. Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to draw near unto Him.

The Burden of Atlas

I turn off the phone, the conversation finally finished for the night, and feel a huge burden upon me. It is the same feeling as two weeks ago when I was thinking about the wickedness of the world and how it almost seemed as if there was no hope for any change for the better. I felt like crying, the sorrow was great, but no tears came to my eyes; I felt despair. I knelt down as I did then two weeks ago and plead for relief because I didn't know what to do to fix the situation. Within moments of praying I felt peace fill me and had the reassurance that all would be fine; My Heavenly Father had not deserted me and He would help me through the burden. He knew what to do to resolve the situation, but He wanted me to have experience in resolving it first and in being an instrument in His hands. My burden was not taken away; It remained the same size, weight, and capacity. However, the burden was lightened, or rather, I was given strength to bear it. A similar experience had happened to the people of Alma in Book of Mormon times/Ancient America times:

“And it came to pass that so great were their afflictions that they [the people of Alma] began to cry mightily to God.

“And Amulon commanded them that they should stop their cries; and he put guards over them to watch them, that whosoever should be found calling upon God should be put to death.

“And Alma and his people did not raise their voices to the Lord their God, but did pour out their hearts to him; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts.”

“And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

“And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:10-15).
The Lord does strengthen us in our burdens as we turn to Him, as I have witnessed especially in these past couple of weeks.

Empty Canvases

Between watching a short video on a project the artist Miranda July did about strangers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg6jyXyK3kU) and reading a blog post called "Tell Me Your Story" (http://www.russhillmedia.com/2013/04/17/tell-me-your-story/), I began to think about how each of us human beings can be compared to art. Why's that? you may ask. I thought of it as this: Each of us are born a completely blank canvas, although we each have unique characteristics; We may be a white canvas, maybe burlap, perhaps silk or linen, but we are blank. As we go through life we pick up other traits including marks, colorful splashes, writing, and various brush strokes. We may get bumped a bit, maybe worn at the edges, dusty, torn a bit, or scratched. However, each of us becomes something that can be appreciated, and each of us has our own story. Not everyone in the world will get the chance to see us, and even fewer individuals will have the chance to hear and understand our story, but those that do will appreciate us even more. We've all heard, I presume, the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We can see the beauty of other individuals as we come to know their stories and what it took to make their current "art". Our worth does not come from how others view us, but rather it comes from the process that formed us.

A letter to my friends

I know I have not written in this blog for quite some time. Life is busy and I am forgetful, and these two attributes do not go well together. However, due to some past and recent concerns from my single friends, I wished to write something to help my friends and others who may come across the blog.

Dear Friends,

Life is difficult and I know sometimes you feel frustrated that not everything works out. You face heartache and anger, rejection and lack of self-confidence. I want you to know that everything will work out in the end. Ladies, it is hard being single as a 20+ year old woman and I understand that constantly you question, 'Why Me?' You want guys to notice you and to put forth the effort to talk to you. The truth of it is: they do notice you. So why do we feel insignificant and lack self-worth? Girls, you don't need a guy to define your self-worth. You are beautiful and amazing. Whoever you are, you are the most important you out there. I like what I found from another site, written by a father who wanted his daughter and other girls to know just how important they are. The letter says,
"Recently, your mother and I were searching the Internet, and Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior. And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: You will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that, and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: you."

(http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/what-one-dad-wants-his-girl-to-know-about-her-future-husband/#ixzz2tjT0Jxis)

To my guy friends, I know that girls can be difficult (I am one after all). We change our minds about many things and often, but when it comes down to it the right girl will have a hard time changing her mind when she starts to become interested in you. Girls will tend to break your heart, and you may feel discouraged with dating, even almost giving up at times. During times like these you may remember all of the negative things that have happened to you, but know that you are not alone in these experiences. You are being prepared to be an amazing future king. Each one of you is amazing, talented, handsome, and worthy of a girl out there in the world. Do not become discouraged.

My friends, I know what it is like to have a broken heart and to feel discouraged with dating, but I've also realized that with as many heartaches and failed dates there are more than enough friends and family members to uplift and love us. Remember that Heavenly Father has a magnificent plan for you so that you can have the greatest amount of joy possible. Be patient and all will work out.