A change of events without notice gives me anxiety. With this information we set the preface for my experience about humility and receiving answers to prayers.
I walked into church today with the intent of going directly to our Teaching for our Times class and assumed it to be in the same classroom where we have met every second Sunday for the past several months. I waited outside of the classroom because no one else had yet showed up. 8 minutes passed and finally someone else showed up, but still we had no one present from the Sunday School presidency. 15 minutes passed and two more people showed up so we set up the classroom, but there was still no one from the Sunday School presidency. They hadn't told us to meet in a different classroom and we hadn't been advised that the meeting was cancelled so where were they?
After 25 minutes, the secretary entered the room and notified us that the room had been changed to the other side of the building and downstairs. Really? I thought. I have been feeling anxious for the past half an hour to find out that the location had been changed and that it had only been announced in Relief Society and Elders' Quorum? We all followed the secretary and I was disgruntled. Actually, I felt a little more on the angry side of the emotional spectrum.
"I wish I had a sledgehammer," I said out loud as we were walking down the stairs. I was asked why and my natural response was that I like to break things when I am angry (not that I ever do, though). I doubt anyone took me seriously but truly I just wanted to leave the building at that point even though it was due only to a silly miscommunication. The Lord probably knew that I needed a little dose of humility but wanted me to know that He always listens because when we entered the room and had all sat down, I was asked to say the opening prayer. I was given a sledgehammer, or at least what I felt was the top portion of a sledgehammer. It wouldn't do any damage because without the post on a sledgehammer it is more difficult to achieve the needed momentum to do any harm. However, that portion given to me was just heavy enough to humble me and to realize that I needed to let the burden go.
Doctrine and Covenants section 19, verse 20 states, "Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I humble you with my almighty power; and that you confess your sins, lest you suffer those punishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have tasted at the time I withdrew my Spirit."
Luckily I didn't put myself into a position of spiritual rebellion to the extent that I would have to pass through a more humbling experience, but I feel that receiving that spiritual sledgehammer was the Lord's way of helping me become more humble. What were my choices in that moment of being asked to say the prayer? "I can't say the prayer. I don't want to be here and I am frustrated with all of you" or "Father, please take this anger away." The second option took more effort, but it was a better option and an experience I needed. I am grateful for the spiritual sledgehammer that I was given; it was a sledgehammer to be used not on a wall or solid surface but rather to be used on myself so that I would soften my heart.
