Numerous times throughout my life, I've been reminded to accentuate the positive, forget the bad, and hold onto hope for the future. They're all wonderful tenets of advice, but as I've recently read through historical records and journals and watched documentaries, I'm beginning to see that it's necessary not to forget all of the bad. Yes, we need to forgive those who have harmed us, but it doesn't mean we must push our experiences out of our minds. Yes, we should avoid repeating the past, but it doesn't mean we should pretend it never happened.
After all, what would life be like if we never experienced bad things? What would it be like if we forgot that one time we fell off our bicycle, or when that special someone rejected us?
There is a special part of our human minds that avoids pain. It's kind of like the knight in shining armor who would fight the dragons of old just to keep his princess safe. There is nothing wrong with it. However, as I've learned through the years, letting it have full control just turns us into robots. But what if we let it have less control, even a little bit more, not to the point of taking satisfaction in our own pain and suffering, but to allow ourselves to remember our disappointments?
When I first began transcribing my journals, I did not want to read through them. I read about a girl who was bullied, felt unwanted sometimes, and had some extraordinarily difficult days. And reading about those experiences makes me cry for her. Why did she have to walk in self-doubt and inadequacy? Why did she spend days shedding tears in secret? Why did she have to sit alone in sadness while I get to experience joy even in my trials?
It was so I can now experience joy, even in my trials. Her difficult days paved the way for me to now see the good and to see God more.
Why did my ancestors have to cross the plains with early pioneers, fight in wars, or move to Rhode Island to avoid Puritan persecution? It was to grant me a place where I could learn more about Jesus Christ freely (even though some of them did not know their impact at the time). And that's why the sufferings and sorrows of the past are necessary—why we should not forget them. Because without them, we are just mute creatures without a destination and without an origin.
I know that young Destinee would not have chosen those trials for herself, but thank goodness she was willing to endure so that I could be where I am today.
