I'm God's Favorite

 A few days ago, I asked Father if He could help me feel His love for me.

Logically, I know it. I see countless ordinary miracles, and I know that almost every creator loves his creations, but I hadn't felt it for a while because I've been overwhelmed with family challenges, loneliness, and health trials.

The day after my prayer, everything was fine: I attended church, took notes, sang, and later painted some. I studied the scriptures and watched Bible story videos. But I felt nothing different; I didn't feel that love from God I hoped for, even though I knew the friends around me cared about me and my circumstances.

Monday came, and a friend sent me a fun picture through text message, but again, I went through the day without feeling anything. Now, don't misunderstand—how I currently feel does not affect my beliefs or blind my mind to see the good around me. However, as many probably hope, sometimes it would be nice to know that we are worth something in God's eyes.

Well, take that to this Tuesday morning. The same friend who sent me a message yesterday sent me another this morning, saying she was thinking about me, and I thought, Maybe this is it. Maybe this is God's way of saying he's mindful of me. Then later, I thought that perhaps I had been expecting it too much because she never followed up. And then, as I listened to the radio (KLove), I heard a message from a pastor who spoke about when Jesus's disciples were on the sea during the storm, and he was fast asleep in the boat. He said something to the effect of, "And they asked, Master, do you not care if we die? Don't we often wonder the same thing? Don't we wonder if, maybe, God loves us?" Upon hearing this, I thought, Yes! Here it is! This is what I've been waiting for.

But the universe must have laughed when I heard his next words, "And this is what Jesus said to them, 'Oh, ye, of little faith.'" Ouch! Excuse me, pastor, but that's harsh. What kind of hope-building, motivational speech is that? "Do you wonder if God loves you? You have little faith."

With my expectations falling, I kept driving to work.

Some time between five and ten minutes before nine, a song came on. The title and artist didn't appear on the screen, but I later looked it up because it opened my eyes to a new understanding of God's love. This is what stood out to me:

"Who says that I, even I

Have something still left to offer?
So who am I? Who am I

To question the pen in the hands of The Author?...

I live in a moment You already wrote
There's proof that I'm someone, yeah, someone You love...

I see trauma, I see worthless
You see something You can work with
I see weakness, I see failure
You see something good on paper
And I've seen ashes turn to beauty
I've felt heaven working through me
I've seen panic turn to power
Felt Your peace in my darkest hour..." (Brandon Lake and Nick Jonas)

Link to the music video: https://youtu.be/vKzPmy3VUzY?si=7TQk59ddEBzc97ek

Hebrews 12:2 refers to Christ as the author and finisher of our faith.

But what does his being the author have to do with God's love for me? Or his love for anyone, in fact?

This is what was impactful for me on my drive to work. He is the author of my story, which means—wait for it—I am the main character of my story! And I'm not just the main character, I am the hero.

As a writer, I know about characters well. Sometimes, they truly are heroes. Sometimes, they are just the average person on the street. And ninety-eight percent of the time, they don't know what the author is planning to throw into their path. But the stumbling blocks aren't in the story as punishment.

When I write my characters and their journeys, the ones that mean little to me are scooted into the background and float about as extras, while my favorite characters have to fight, suffer loss, deal with heartbreak, or even get shot a couple of times. It's because I know they can do it and get through it. It seems counterintuitive, but like us, Heavenly Father pushes those He loves best to be their best (yes, all of us), even if He has to step back and let them endure hardships. It doesn't sound pleasant, but it's necessary.

A ward member and friend, David, has said, "I'm God's favorite child." This morning, as I heard the song come on the radio reminding me that God is the author, I thought, "Hey, I'm God's favorite character." And in a story of perplexing choices, creations, and marvels, that means a lot to someone who just needed to be reminded that God loves her.

 

Life Lessons from a Dog 2026

 Lately, when I've gone on walks with our dog, it probably looks like he's the one taking me on a
walk! See, Buddy is blind, 90% deaf, and moves slowly. On top of that, he may have dementia.

The only way he knows I am there is if he can smell me or if I touch him. As a result, I walk directly in front of him and hold his leash so that he won't fall off the sidewalk and into the street. Sometimes, he wants to cross the street and tugs and pulls, trying to get his way, but sadly, every time he does this, he ends up falling off the sidewalk, running into someone's brick wall, or falling into the holes along neighbors’ yards. It saddens me (and I make a small fuss over him each time because the poor dog gets hurt) because I want to keep him safe and well, but I also know that if he doesn't follow right behind me, it will happen again. And I can't stop him from doing it because I refuse to force him to stay in a straight line. So I hold on to the leash and direct him as best I can, using it and myself to guide and protect him from falling.

The last time I took Buddy on a walk, I realized that Heavenly Father does the same thing for us. He doesn't want us to fall and gives us commandments to follow, which keep us tied to him. But sometimes, we don't want to follow Him and would rather go our own way. We see others having fun and roaming, or maybe there's a tasty treat on the other side of the spiritual street. And if we try to chase (or hobble) after them, we will fall because we, too, are blind and deaf. We, too, have forgotten important parts of our life, including our premortal life. We need a steady guide.

Fortunately, whenever we take the path that Buddy sometimes takes—when we trip and fall—our heavenly guide again helps us up and leads us. As long as we follow in His footsteps, we will return home safely, just as Buddy always returns home safely with me, no matter how long it takes.