Empty Canvases

Between watching a short video on a project the artist Miranda July did about strangers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg6jyXyK3kU) and reading a blog post called "Tell Me Your Story" (http://www.russhillmedia.com/2013/04/17/tell-me-your-story/), I began to think about how each of us human beings can be compared to art. Why's that? you may ask. I thought of it as this: Each of us are born a completely blank canvas, although we each have unique characteristics; We may be a white canvas, maybe burlap, perhaps silk or linen, but we are blank. As we go through life we pick up other traits including marks, colorful splashes, writing, and various brush strokes. We may get bumped a bit, maybe worn at the edges, dusty, torn a bit, or scratched. However, each of us becomes something that can be appreciated, and each of us has our own story. Not everyone in the world will get the chance to see us, and even fewer individuals will have the chance to hear and understand our story, but those that do will appreciate us even more. We've all heard, I presume, the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We can see the beauty of other individuals as we come to know their stories and what it took to make their current "art". Our worth does not come from how others view us, but rather it comes from the process that formed us.

A letter to my friends

I know I have not written in this blog for quite some time. Life is busy and I am forgetful, and these two attributes do not go well together. However, due to some past and recent concerns from my single friends, I wished to write something to help my friends and others who may come across the blog.

Dear Friends,

Life is difficult and I know sometimes you feel frustrated that not everything works out. You face heartache and anger, rejection and lack of self-confidence. I want you to know that everything will work out in the end. Ladies, it is hard being single as a 20+ year old woman and I understand that constantly you question, 'Why Me?' You want guys to notice you and to put forth the effort to talk to you. The truth of it is: they do notice you. So why do we feel insignificant and lack self-worth? Girls, you don't need a guy to define your self-worth. You are beautiful and amazing. Whoever you are, you are the most important you out there. I like what I found from another site, written by a father who wanted his daughter and other girls to know just how important they are. The letter says,
"Recently, your mother and I were searching the Internet, and Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior. And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: You will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that, and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: you."

(http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/what-one-dad-wants-his-girl-to-know-about-her-future-husband/#ixzz2tjT0Jxis)

To my guy friends, I know that girls can be difficult (I am one after all). We change our minds about many things and often, but when it comes down to it the right girl will have a hard time changing her mind when she starts to become interested in you. Girls will tend to break your heart, and you may feel discouraged with dating, even almost giving up at times. During times like these you may remember all of the negative things that have happened to you, but know that you are not alone in these experiences. You are being prepared to be an amazing future king. Each one of you is amazing, talented, handsome, and worthy of a girl out there in the world. Do not become discouraged.

My friends, I know what it is like to have a broken heart and to feel discouraged with dating, but I've also realized that with as many heartaches and failed dates there are more than enough friends and family members to uplift and love us. Remember that Heavenly Father has a magnificent plan for you so that you can have the greatest amount of joy possible. Be patient and all will work out.

Obtaining Charity

I understand that I wrote a blog post about this subject before but these past two or so weeks I have had some experiences that helped me understand more about what charity is. To start off with, perhaps I should write this in story format just to illustrate my point. First off, I work at a theater and recently we have hired several people. A month ago when we hired a small group, there was a girl (We'll call her A.) who didn't understand things as quickly as some of the others. I found that I still lacked patience and often felt frustrated with her. I also began to work with two boys who caught on quickly to everything and remembered the things I taught them during training, and for me it was easy to love these two. A week to two weeks ago, we then hired a couple of more new employees and of this group I was assigned to train one of them (Here he'll be called by L.) who broke several rules in the first day, and so I said to myself, "He will not make it long here." A few days after that experience I felt ill and during a small rush had a coughing fit, which caused me to rush out of the concession stand, leaving L alone to deal with the rest of the people. Not only did he handle the group of people well, but he also took the time to rush back with a courtesy cup of water for me.
I realized that people are not always how we originally envision them.
As the charity I felt for the two boys grew, I knew that I needed to have that same charity for others such as A and L, and so I prayed. I asked Heavenly Father to help me to have charity specifically for A and L and within a week I felt a great love for both of these individuals. As we love, we will love more; if we lack charity we can pray for it and Heavenly Father will give it to us. In a way, it is like the line in a circle, continuous and reaching and touching the next line segment in the circle. Such is life. God loves us and we can both feel his love for us and direct that love toward others, who will then reach back in love toward us and others.  

The Power of Testimony and the Strength that comes from the Scriptures

This week has been a wonderful learning experience for me. I am planning on taking a big step and applying for the BFA program at UVU, but I have been extremely worried. I would definitely not consider myself the greatest graphic designer, especially when compared to my classmates, but I want to take the multiple things I have learned from each area (mainly Graphic Design, Illustration, and Digital Media) and do something different. I am not like my talented classmates because I am different; I am me. However, that does not relieve my lack of self-confidence. One morning as I was pondering about this upcoming trial, I read from 3 Nephi 4:8-10 of the Book of Mormon, which says,
"And it came to pass that the armies of the Nephites, when they saw the appearance of the army of Giddianhi, had all fallen to the earth, and did lift their cries to the Lord their God, that he would spare them and deliver them out of the hands of their enemies.
And it came to pass that when the armies of Giddianhi saw this they began to shout with a loud voice, because of their joy, for they had supposed that the Nephites had fallen with far because of the terror of their armies.
But in this thing they were disappointed, for the Nephites did not fear them; but they did fear their God and did supplicate him for protection; therefore, when the armies of Giddianhi did rush upon them they were prepared to meet them; yea, in the strength of the Lord they did receive them."
The lesson I received at the moment of reading these verses is that when our enemies are upon us (or our enemy, or fear), if we raise up our voices to our God, He will deliver us. I felt afterward that the application for the program is like an enemy to me because I fear it. When I begin to fear what will come ahead I need to fall on my knees and pray to my Heavenly Father, and He will protect me and deliver me.
The second experience I had occurred at school. I was talking to my friend and asked him to share his best missionary experience, of which he shared his experience and then testified, perhaps unknowingly, of the power of the priesthood and priesthood blessings. The testimony was simple, but it was powerful. Testimonies are often like that. Oftentimes we share what we know to be true, not intending it to be a testimony, but yet it is. I know from personal experience, from being on the receiving end, that sharing testimony of Christ and of God's plan brings a powerful witness of the truth. 

I have failed in writing once again. It becomes a little more difficult when you are no longer writing letters home from the mission field. I have decided however to do a second blog about a picture a day, borrowed from several artists (more info coming about that).
For now, my first topic I would like to cover is about Blogs. Last week in my lectures class the guest speaker (Jim Hadley? John Hadley? Some artist with the last name of Hadley) said that to have and write in a blog is important because it allows free expression. This in turn helps anyone with a blog, who writes in it, to be creative.
Second, today in Institute we talked about Mary, mother of Jesus. The class is about Women in the Scriptures, and so we look for and talk about the qualities of the women in the scriptures and how those qualities can be applied to us. Mary, as we discussed, was highly favored of the Lord because she trusted in Him, she was virtuous, humble, faithful, grateful, and submissive. As to the submissiveness, she said, "Behold, the handmaid of the Lord. Be it unto me according to thy words" or "Thy will be done." I was thinking about this a few weeks ago during the Christmas season. Mary was given the most difficult task of anyone in the scriptures, other than Christ (and you might notice later on in Luke 22:42 that Christ basically says the same thing as his mother, just as a fun fact). Think of it: Angel Gabriel comes to Mary, a girl of 13 years, and says, "Hey Mary, you have been chosen to be the mother of the Savior of the world. Oh, and if you are feeling burdened by this thought now, wait until your son is 33 years old. He is going to have to pay the price for the sins of all mankind and will be crucified three days later."
Mary knew the prophecies about the Savior, and I believe it would have been very difficult for her to realize that she was going to give birth to the Christ only to watch him die in a little over thirty years. However, as the scriptures state, she responded, "Be it unto me..." or "I will do it."
What I likened to myself at that time when I was reading about this several weeks back, I thought, If Mary could give birth to the Savior and know what she would have to do and what would happen in the coming years, and yet said she would willingly do it (And she did do it!), I can do difficult things, too.
I know that whatever comes our way, we can do difficult things. Why? Because God will help us. If He gives us a challenge or a calling, He will help us through it.   

I am a ward missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I received this calling only a few weeks after arriving home from serving a mission in Guatemala City, Guatemala. When I received the calling I thought, "Yes, now I can continue the mission work!" and I am still grateful for the opportunity to have this calling, but it is difficult. The calling of a ward missionary mostly includes reactivating the less active members under the direction of the ward mission leader. Sounds easy enough, right?

It is not easy. In the mission field the most heart-breaking times occurred when we passed by and called the homes of the less active or inactive members, we invited them to activities or church, and then they refused to come. These experiences happen now to ward missionaries, and speaking for myself I feel often like a failure.

Fortunately for us all, it is all right (We discussed earlier today about how the word all equals 100%). I have learned that I must do my best and then leave the rest to the Lord. Christ already paid the price and atoned for us, and this means that when we fail, He will complete what we cannot complete alone.

As with anything else in life, we may fall short and we may be too weak to accomplish the tasks given to us, but we can do anything with Jesus Christ, as the Book of Mormon missionary, Ammon, said, "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things (Alma 26:12)".

Life Lessons from a Dog #1

Your dog looks up at you through the window and whines. He wants you to come outside and play, but you are busy at the moment with homework or chores. “Just a moment!” you call to him, but he doesn’t listen; He is too anxious to play. You try to hurry through your work so that you can speedily go out to him.

Wait a moment. Does this sound familiar? Let’s put this to a human being.

You look up at what you desire and plead within, “Oh, if only I can have that,” or if applied to a friend or family member, “Do they care about me? Why is she taking so long? Is he ignoring me?” They come over to talk to you but soon has to return to the task they were attempting to finish, and you think to yourself, “Maybe they don’t like me.”

The truth is that oftentimes there are tasks that we must finish first in order to place our full attention on someone else. Just as we try making the best time for our dog, other people want to give us the best of their time.

Prayer: The Constant Communication Line

I am not very consistent in writing blog posts but sometimes there are experiences that must be shared. Recently I had one of these experiences. In my early childhood days prayer was an essential part of my day. I prayed every night and asked for every person in my life to be blessed. In my early teens I was taught to pray each morning and night and to pray in a certain pattern, which included addressing Heavenly Father, giving thanks, asking for those things I thought I needed, and then ending in Christ's name. In my later teens I continued to use the pattern I had been taught and I even added the habit of praying at meal time. However, throughout this lifetime of praying as I was taught to pray, I felt empty. I felt that my prayers meant little and that they were not quite reaching the ears of my Heavenly Father.
It wasn't until I realized that I really needed my Heavenly Father's help, especially in the mission field, that I began to pray with earnest. No one taught me how to pray with real intent, and I wasn't handed a pattern to follow. I simply began to talk with my Heavenly Father. I opened up my heart to Him and spoke to Him as I would speak to my dearest friends. I exercised faith that He was listening and that He would answer. I no longer treated Him as a voice recorder, but I treated Him as a being that would listen to me and respond. As I have continued this habit after serving a mission I have gained greater trust in my Heavenly Father as well. In the last few months I have prayed for something of importance to me and though it took those several months Heavenly Father recently answered that prayer. Not all prayers will be answered the moment we want them to be answered and perhaps not in the way we would like, but I firmly testify that those prayers will be answered. Our Father has not deserted us in this dark world; He is near and He is listening.

Link: Thomas S. Monson, Stand in Holy Places Oct 2011

A Prophet's Prophecies Are Fulfilled

This past week my family and I went down to Southern Utah. The sights there are beautiful and the change of scenery was relaxing, but as we traveled I noticed more than the scenery. I noticed that other visitors were speaking different languages. People from other countries around the world had come to see Utah!
Many of us here in Utah have desires to leave the state and visit other places like California, Hawaii, the Bahamas, Central America, Europe, or Asia, and we take our own state for granted. While we leave to seek other wonderful landmarks, we probably fail to realize that people from those parts want to come see what Utah offers. In this, a prophecy is fulfilled.
President Gordon B. Hinckley, the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints preceding Thomas S. Monson, shared, "On a dark and winter day in 1849, in the old tabernacle, when the people were hungry and cold, Brigham Young said that the day would come when this would become the great highway of the nations and people from over the earth would visit us here. We are witnessing that day and the fulfillment of that remarkable prophecy."
What the true prophet prophesies will come true because it is what God would tell us if He was upon the earth speaking to us. Doctrine and Covenants, section one and verse 38 states,
"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."

President Thomas S. Monson, in general conference, told us, "Our Heavenly Father did not launch us on our eternal voyage without providing the means for whereby we could receive from Him guidance to ensure our safe return. I speak of prayer. I speak too of the whisperings from that still, small voice; and I do not overlook the holy scriptures, which contain the word of the Lord and the words of the prophets- provided to us to help us successfully cross the finish line.
At some period in our mortal mission, there appears the faltering step, the wan smile, the pain of sickness- even the fading of summer, the approach of autumn, the chill of winter, and the experience we call death...
As the result of Christ's victory over the grave, we shall all be resurrected... Our Heavenly Father rejoices for those who keep His commandments. He is concerned also for the lost child, the tardy teenager, the wayward youth, the delinquent parent. Tenderly the Master speaks to these and indeed to all: 'Come back. Come up. Come in. Come home. Come unto me."
I know and testify that there is a true prophet and seer on the earth today that guides us and tells us what Heavenly Father desires that the world knows. His name is Thomas S. Monson, and he is the prophet until he returns home to our Heavenly Father; and after his work is finished God will call another prophet in his stead, but never will our Father and our Lord forsake us and revoke his mouthpiece from the earth again.

Face Forward

I was reminded of an experience I had while serving a mission in Guatemala, in the mountains. Each day we would see men and young boys (and sometimes even the women) carrying large loads of sticks on their backs, which were supported by a rope or belt strapped across their foreheads. Each time the Guatemalan was bent forward as if the load of sticks burdened them. Each of us, like the Guatemalans, have burdens that we have to carry. If we only had the types of burdens that those Guatemalans had, we probably wouldn't suffer so much, but unfortunately, with each burden we have comes fear.
For me, my fear is of the future. It is peculiar because throughout my life I have heard and continuously hear, ''Have great confidence in your future." Do you ever fear the future? It is difficult not to fear it. We have so many uncertainties and many decisions to make. However, we must have faith, and faith and fear cannot coexist.
There is a scripture that aids me whenever I have doubts about my future or when my burdens seem too large to deal with. The scripture is from the Doctrine and Covenants, section 122 and verse 7:
"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."
Our burdens, our trials, and our experiences are for our good. Sometimes it seems quite the opposite, but these words are truth. We also have the words from the present prophet, spoken almost exactly a year ago at the April 2011 General Conference. President Thomas S. Monson said,
"I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments."
"My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."
Maybe you (whomever reads this) have a challenge in your life at this moment. Maybe you have a doubt or a particular fear, but know that all that is uncomfortable and bad will pass. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy so He gives us a trial to help us grow a little, and then He removes it so that we can enjoy the peace after the storms. I want to finalize with something that my mom shared; it says, "That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot change. But that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent." (Chinese Proverb)