Am I Walking by Faith?

When I was a young child, fear accompanied me everywhere: I feared falling down and hurting myself; I feared the imaginary monsters hiding underneath my bed and in my closet; I was afraid of rides, horses, new foods, dogs (besides our own), spiders, snakes, the dark, and so on. The fear in my life was so great to the point my dad once nicknamed me "Scaredy cat."
As I grew older, most of those fears disappeared, and I learned to manage those fears that were still present. I learned to have faith in God and to move forward, despite my fears. In psychological or sociological terms, we define it as 'courage.' Did maintaining that courage mean that everything ceased to be a problem? Did my stronger faith in God remove the obstacles and lessen the difficulties I had to face? Unfortunately, no.
In 2010, when I was in Guatemala City, serving a mission, I slipped while walking along an uneven stone road on a rainy day. Slipping on one of those stones led to a broken cartilage in my foot at the joint of a toe. For two to three weeks I walked in discomfort, doing my best to continue on in the Lord's work. One Monday, at a district meeting, I received a blessing of healing from the district leader, and I clearly remember him telling me that a blessing is good, but that I needed to have faith that the Lord would heal me. The injury never healed during those eighteen months in Guatemala.
Fast forward to my second-to-last area in the mission field. My mission companion and I were having success with finding people to teach and we worked hard to reach our goals (and we had some big goals), but one night as we shared our progress for the day, the district leader for that area expressed disappointment. Did I not have faith, even though we said we could achieve those goals? I also remember feeling disappointed in myself any time I would write to the mission president. Did he think I lacked faith?
In the last two years, I took classes in the Computer Science department, and two or three of those classes I struggled in, but I put my trust in the Lord because I had faith that He could help me. I received help from others, prayed for guidance, and put forth extra time so I could pass the classes. To my dismay, each time, I failed. Perhaps the faith I had in the Lord didn't work?
As I look back today at each of those experiences, I cannot help but feel that to some, these unanswered prayers, the courage and faith that I exerted each day, signify that God doesn't hear us. This is wrong. It is utterly a foolish notion. Faith should not depend on whether or not our circumstances work in our favor. Rather, at times, our God allows misfortunes and disappointments because He knows that our faith is strong and it will carry us through those unfortunate times.

The scriptures testify that if we have faith as a grain of mustard, we can do anything, but do we have the faith to continue strong, trusting in the Lord, when our desires do not happen the way we want them to? Do we have faith to continue to ask for priesthood blessings and trust in God's healing powers even if we aren't automatically healed? Do we have faith to work diligently for our goals even if the first day or two doesn't go well? Do we have faith not to give up when challenges come our way? 

Each of these accounts ended well for me: I eventually healed from my injury, not during the mission, though. It healed years later. We reached our crazy goals, but it took extra effort on our part. I graduated with a second degree, an Associate's in Computer Science, and I still program even though I don't have a job in it. Did God answer my prayers? Yes, and He did it on His timetable. Faith is not the result; it is part of the process. Hope in something better. Have hope that with God's help, you can do anything, and then, move forward, doing the best you can. If you do this, you are walking by faith.