Beloved

"For God so loved the world" 

I may have mentioned this before, but one of my favorite early church apostles is John the Beloved. Some of it has to do with how sincere his writings are (Matthew writes that one of the disciples cuts off the ear of the high priest's servant [Matthew 26:51], but John blatantly tells us that Simon Peter did it [John 18:10]). A portion of it has to do with how I relate to his title as a 'Son of Thunder' because I also have occasional bursts of frustration and speak with, as some in our Guatemala mission said, 'Chikote.' But I always found it humorous that he always referred to himself as 'the disciple whom Jesus loved.'

That was, until I understood it differently this morning. I can imagine John, alone on the island of Patmos, having received news of the martyrdoms of his brother and friends, after spending years being tossed into pits, prisons, pots of boiling oil, onto pyres, and enduring whatever other murderous attempts on his life. If I had been in his place, I know I would be feeling sorrowful and lonely—I have felt sorrowful and lonely. I have been rejected and persecuted, have had dreams and plans smashed time after time, and have dwelt on an island of sorts. So when I felt at a low this morning and prayed for anything to give me hope, was it any wonder my thoughts turned to John?

And what was it that I reflected on besides his loneliness on Patmos? His nickname: John the Beloved. Why? Because maybe, just maybe, he needed the reminder when he was alone and sorrowing that Jesus loved him. Maybe sometimes he didn't feel like he quite measured up or was important, and referring to himself as 'the disciple Jesus loved' helped him feel that he was enough and that Jesus accepted him despite his earlier zealousness.

I don't know why John referred to himself as 'the disciple Jesus loved,' but after pondering on these things today, I was reminded that I am also beloved. I am Destinee the Beloved because, regardless of what labels and price stickers the world wants to put on me, I am someone who Jesus loves.

At times in our lives, we will feel like we have no one to turn to—that no one wants us around or cares about our opinions. But when those times come, just remember that you are the one whom Jesus loved.